Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Okay so the Verizon Fios guy made it here in record time. This time he WAS all g-d like, and I swear some of the neighborhood kids came running to his truck. However, there were no rays of light emitted from the back of his vehicle. Well, maybe there were, but it is very sunny today.

Anyway, my phone is fixed.

It was off the hook.

Luckily he did not charge me. I think my sheer mortification was payment enough for him. He gave me a checklist to go through the next time this happens.

First, make sure all phones are hung up.

He really does not think I need another item on the checklist.

I will place this checklist right next to the one from the fuel company. This is eerily reminiscent of the time I called THEM because the furnace was not working... I had accidentally turned off the furnace when I had mistaken the emergency switch for the basement light.

Dad, you must be very proud of me.

Oh, and I asked my Fios savior why the name Jeanine Funnacello keeps coming up when I call people. If you still have cable (you meaning YOU as opposed to a general "you"), her name will keep coming up. It will take a couple of weeks for that to clear, but if you do NOT have cable, MY name will come up.


Monday, March 24, 2008

Fashionable Yet Functional

So, I have my new phone number, but now I have no computer. My getting Fios did something to my Broadband, cable, and maybe even my air conditioning. All I know is that the Fios guy (who was ugly. And fat. And old. NOTHING like the Fios guy in the commercials) did something to my computer and it is now fried.

And even though I have a new phone number, I somehow managed to have both phone numbers (new and old) disconnected. Luckily I have my Blackberry, which I had really just bought as an accessory, that still works, and I am able to make phone calls and receive emails.

As far as the new phone number, I sent out a blitz email last night telling everyone about my new number, but I realized that I do not have Stephen’s contacts, so he will have to send out notice when he comes home.

He does not even know that I switched phone numbers OR internet carriers, and if I do not get this problem fixed soon I fear that he may be a little unsupportive of this decision. (But in fairness to me, he NEVER places take-out orders and therefore does not know what it is like to have to give a 767 number when living in a 232 world.) Plus, I know that this change will be better for me emotionally. It has secretly been killing me when people give me their phone numbers that I know damn well moved to town AFTER us, and were given a 232 number. Now instead of putting a little curse on their heads, I will just accept it with grace and poise.

Another Verizon technician is on his way here now so hopefully I will be up and running in no time.

In the meantime I managed to order ridiculously expensive carpet for our stairs and upstairs hallway. Again, Stephen has no idea about this purchase either and would never have chosen this carpet for our house. But I was pro-active about it and not wanting to leave any wiggle room, paid a little extra so the carpet will be installed by the time Stephen comes home tonight. I am hoping that his pissed offedness about the carpet will ease the level of pissed offedness about the phone. (I am always thinking.)

And to really piss him off more, I ordered a new Apple computer with a 47 inch monitor. Did I need a monitor that big? Of course not. I just figured while I was out changing numbers and installing new carpet behind my husband's back, I may as well go for broke. Yup, this little golf weekend of his just cost him BIG time.

I do have to ask the Verizon technician one very important question though. In the short period of time that my phone DID work with the new number, Drama told me that my phone number came up on her caller ID as Jeanine Funnacello. This story was corroborated by my sister who told me the very same thing. So not only do people have to get used to a new phone number, they also have to start accepting phone calls from Jeanine F.

I am starting to get the feeling that I should have listened to that old adage “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” But really, “ain’t” is not grammatically correct. In fact I don’t know if it is really a word, so I have never heeded that advice in the past. Perhaps if the expression was “If it is not broken, do not fix it.” Although I seriously doubt that even the proper expression would have stopped me from the temptation of getting a 232 number. It was the forbidden fruit, and I ate it.

Now I just have to get the Gina (I think I am more of a Gina than Jeanine) situation cleared up. I do not expect that it should be too hard.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Snow Day

Gained back all my weight. I have eaten everything in this house between yesterday and today. Including canned food from my Y2K emergency kit that expired 5 years ago. And all the packaged foods.

Something about a snow day makes me set up an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Adam and Ellie have done the jumping castle, and are now watching The Incredibles for the 15th time since yesterday. Adam can say all the lines... kind of like how I could from 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club. And like how my dad could from Fletch and Animal House.

Okay, need to go downstairs to eat a can of cream of mushroom soup (cold of course) while dipping potato chips into it.