Sunday, July 13, 2008

Crazy Killer on the Loose

We made it thought the night. I think I will let Christy sleep in her own bed tonight.

This morning I woke up and took an hour long walk along the lake shore. (I think we all know by now that I am NOT swimming in this lake ever again.) I had my iPod and I wore my nicest tennis outfit. I looked like a total Nike whore.

A few of the locals drove by and they probably thought to themselves “that must be a New York City spoiled princess.”

I was singing out loud to my music and thought to myself “yes, this is much safer than swimming in a corpse filled lake.” The road along the lake shore is not paved and again, I kind of felt like I was back at camp, and I was loving it. Eventually I walked far enough that I could go off of the lake shore road and walk along pavement for a while.

I must have walked about 6 yards (my math is really bad…what is that, like a quarter of a mile?) before I was attacked by little bugs. These little fuckers were swarming around me by the thousands and I was afraid to breathe as I most certainly would ingest a few hundred. So I started to run while swinging my arms in large circular motions and yelling “Go away, go away!!!”

(Insects speak English, don’t they??”)

Anyway, I was running, yelling, swinging my arms and listening to my iPod, hoping that once I got back on the dirt road, the insects should leave me alone as I did not encounter any of them on the walk TO the paved road.


It seemed like all the bugs called every bug in the Adirondacks to “come and haze the spoiled princess.” I was truly miserable and could not even run anymore (I can only jog a 15 minute quater mile as it is), so I was left with my one option of speed walking. All the while still yelling at the bugs, swatting them and rotating my arms in those huge circles.

Even though I was listening to my iPod and could not hear anything, I could sense that there was a car behind me and sure enough, I turned around to see a police car driving behind me at 2 mph. “Probably looking for Jason” I thought to myself.

But I was wrong. The police drove up next to me and asked me if I was alright. “I got scared and asked “WHY??!??!?!! Is there really a crazy killer on this lake?” To which he said “Uhm, that is what we are trying to figure out, ma'am. “

Well what the fuck does THAT mean????!!!?!?

I soon found out.

The police officer explained to me that one of the locals called in to report ME!!!!! Someone had driven by me and thought I was acting all weird what with my swinging of my arms and yelling “get away!!”

I explained to the officer that I was in fact of sound mind and that I was just bothered by the bugs. He understood and recommended bug spray. I was going to ask him if there was a chance of people dumping dead bodies in the lake that have gone undiscovered, but having just told him that I was up here alone with my kids and a sitter (no husband), I thought he may think my question was a little suspicious.

Anyway, in 5 minutes, Christy, the kids and I are leaving to crash The Sagamore Resort. We are going to sneak in there and spend the day at their lake front.

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