Two Topping Pizza

8:15 am

We are off to The Sagamore in 15 minutes.

Just a quick note that I took my walk and I sprayed my bug spray all over myself. I even wore a tennis visor and put on deodorant. None of it worked. I still was attacked by the mother fucking hazing gnats. I must have a blood type that they don’t see up here too often in these parts of the Adirondacks.

Anyway, off to crash again. The whole key to breaking in at the resort is to get there BEFORE 9am which is when the gate-keeper starts asking for passes. Fucking idiots, I am a New Yorker…. I got street smarts. AND a resort towel. We are SO in, it is ridiculous. Plus the fact that I have a babysitter seals the deal. What rich family does NOT travel with a nanny, right?

10:10pm

So another great day at The Sagamore. I cannot believe that tomorrow is already Tuesday and we leave on Saturday which really means that we have until Friday to find stuff to do. Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, so I will take the kids and Christy to Lake Placid and spend the day there. That takes care of Wednesday and then I figure we will just head back to The Sagamore for Thursday and Friday and we will have had a great vacation.

Today Adam and Ellie played with the other Westchester family again. I am telling you that the mom is a serious walking encyclopedia. Today she told me that what I saw last night was a “dock spider” and that they are often confused with Tarantulas but that there are no Tarantulas in this part of the world.

Phew.

However, dock spiders can still kill you.

Well, what then is the difference between a dock spider and a Tarantula? Their fucking wardrobe???!!!!? If a spider can kill a human then it is not something I want to mess with whether I am in NY State or in the Congo of South America.

I swam again for an hour and I am telling you, it is the BEST workout. Trying to keep from drowning from the huge waves caused by the motor boats and tour boats is no simple task.

We went out for pizza tonight and I am getting the distinct feeling that the locals do NOT like the tourists. I asked for hot peppers on my slice of pizza and when I sent back my slice explaining that I was given the wrong order, they told me that those WERE hot peppers on my slice. I figured I would take the time to give the chef a mini culinary lesson. (And by “chef” I mean dishwasher/pizza maker/gas station attendant.) I told him that what he had put on my pizza slice were olives. OLIVES. Not jalapeno peppers.

He then added a second topping to my slice which I recognized as spit and I got the point.

Christy, the kids and I left a $50 on the table and left. Of course I am now no longer frightened that Jason will kill me, OR a bat, (maybe a dock spider), but I am pretty fucking sure that the boys from the pizza place may try to hunt us down later tonight. That is why I parked my car three houses down and we have all lights off and every door is blocked by large pieces of furniture. I told Christy that she has to sleep in my bed again tonight.

Tomorrow we are off to Lake Placid.