Okay, as soon as the sun rises, I will go outside and take a photo of the deer that had to be dragged off of my front yard and put into the woods.
The police would not come and dispose of the deer because it was on private property, so I had to put on industrial strength gardening gloves and drag by one hoof the deer in to the woods.
I had to call my super shady neighbor to help, as the term "dead weight" literally means dead things weigh a lot.
I am still a little spooked that my Facebook update on Saturday night was about my plan to hunt the deer that were eating my shrubs. Perhaps someone read my update and took care of business for me, and left the dead deer on my lawn to show their absolute devotion.
Fuck, now I hope it is not a stalker.
Or a hairy man from the club taking leaving dead deer as a sign inferring that I am next.